You're in the middle of the ocean and you see Trump and Hillary drowning but you only have room in your boat to save one. Who do you save?

I'm not saying my...

but even her colostomy bag is a Louis Vuitton.

Amish Woman Driver

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is...

A man was sick...

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed...

What do you call...

A rip off

All around

If your dick was as big as your ass you would be an all around player

So my...

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?" I reply "Taxes."

A man dies and...

He is greeted at the pearly gates and sees billions of clocks. He asks the...

The problem with...

Too many get elected.

What does a...

L'Hymen!

Today there was a...

Everything was half off