Saint Peter asked the new arrival, "And what bad things did you do while you were on Earth?"
The man thought a moment. "Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale, and I had some extra-marital sex, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't technically have "sexual relations". I lied some, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I never committed perjury." Saint Peter looked concerned.
"Okay, here's the deal," said Saint Peter. "We'll send you someplace very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell'. You'll be there for an indefinite time, but we won't call it 'eternity,' and you don't need to 'abandon all hope' upon entering, but don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over!"
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