You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Yes, I am. I married the wrong man. A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: Husband Wanted. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. A little boy asked his father, Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? Father replied, I don't know son, I'm still paying. Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. Then there was a woman who said, I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep . Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. First guy: My wife's an angel! Second guy: You're lucky, mine's still alive. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a big gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.