Xmas Joke Help

Hi All,

So December 1st is upon us (in Australia at least) and that means that it is time for me to begin my annual tradition of posting daily status updates on facebook with terrible xmas jokes until xmas. An advent calendar of xmas cracker jokes if you will.

Anyway this is my third or fourth year doing it (I can't really remember) and the well has run kind of dry. So I thought I might reach out to the jokes community of reddit and ask for any terrible, cringe, hilarious and/or dirty xmas cracker jokes you have, made up, whatever.

There is every chance I will have seen a lot of these as I have filtered through 100s in my time looking for amusing ones, but I will appreciate any help I can get.


Some examples of the type of jokes I am looking for are:

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A holly davidson

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe hoe hoe.

What does Miley Cyrus have at xmas?
Twerky.

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.

If they were funny that'd be good, ones like the following which are just plain bad are less desirable

What's the most popular xmas wine?
"I don't like brussel sprouts"

Any way all help appreciated