WORST. ROOMMATE. EVER!

I once had this roommate. One of those people you meet at a bar and invite to move in just because someone else had moved out on short notice. Because it's always a good idea to make major decisions like that while thoroughly hammered.

Anyway, this guy moves in soon enough we discover him nodding out on the living room couch with a needle stuck in his arm. The rest of us were like, _that man's on drugs!_

Then his eyes popped wide open and he said, 'who has drugs?'

He was a popular guy though. People would ring the bell. Stop by and say hi. Go up to his room, hang for a bit. Then move on out. To do their thing. Whatever that thing might be.

Which seemed pretty nice, until one day we realized there was a line going all they way around the block straight to our front door.

They all just wanted to say hi?

But then we found out the worst of the worst. It turned out he had a fetish for kitten porn. At first we were like, what - girls who dress up as cats? Meow!

No. He liked to masturbate to videos of kittens being squished under the stilettos heels of well dressed asian women.

This freaked the entire household the fuck out. I mean, who likes creepy shit like that? So one day we rented another place, packed up everything, and waited until he was all skeezed up with a needle in his arm and nodding out on the couch.

Then quietly sneaked all our shit out and moved away, leaving him with an empty house. When we all arrived in our new pad, we gave each other high fives. Hah, we got rid of that weird dude!

And then we realized... wait. The lease on that house is in our names. We are sooooo fucked!

We rushed back and he'd already changed the locks.

WORST. ROOMMATE. EVER!