Wilson Nails

As a result of unanimous voting, a nail factory called Wilson Nails decides to advertise their products.

However, they do not want to spend huge amount of money. Therefore, they go to church and hire a priest who is kind of into this stuff. In order to convince him, the board introduce themselves as religious people.

One week after, priest comes back with a video:
Lots of men with helmets and shit are gathered in the middle of nowhere and one of them appears to be banging a nail into something. When the camera closes up, we see that the guys are roman soldiers and the one in the middle is crucifying Jesus Christ.
He turns to the camera and says: "Wilson nails, so strong!"

The board finds this ad extremely offensive and politely tells the priest that they don't want to see cross and jesus in their ads.

The next week, our priest comes with another video:
Hundreds of men with helmet and shit are gathered around the Eiffel Tower. One banging a nail onto the tower. When the camera zooms in, we see that he crucifies Jesus Christ onto Eiffel Tower. He turns to the camera and says "Wilson Nails! Very effective! Even on metal!".

The board gets angry and politely says that he does not want any fucking crucifying in a fucking nail ad.

The priest, for the last time brings another video a week after:
The video starts. Nothing happens. Only a desert...
Then, a man appears with beard and long hair. He screams and runs with blood all over himself.
A few seconds later, shitloads of roman guys appear on the screen running as fast as they could.
One of the soldiers turns to the camera and says:

If we had used Wilson Nails, it wouldn't have been like this.