What Women Say & What They Mean

Can't we just be friends?
There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body
touch mine, again.


I just need some space
...without you in it.


Can you help me with my homework?
If I keep whining, the fool will do it for me.


Do I look fat in this dress?
We haven't had a fight in a whlile.


No, pizza's fine.
Cheap bastard.


I just don't want a boyfriend now
I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.


I don't know; what do you want?
I can't believe you don't have anything planned.


Come here
My puppy does this too.


I like you but...
I don't like you.


You never listen.
You never listen.


We're moving too quickly
I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if the guy with the
convertible has a g/f.


I'll be ready in a minute.
I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will.


Oh, no, I will pay for myself.
I am just being nice; there is no way I am going dutch.


Oh Yes! Right there.
Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.


I'm just going out with the girls.
We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.


There's no one else.
I am doing your brother.


Size doesn't count...
...unless I want an orgasm.


You are so nice!
You are such a wimp I could never be sexually attracted to you.


Do you love me?
Do you love me more than my husband?


Oh, these flowers are beautiful.
Can I help you spell J-E-W-E-L-R-Y?


What did you do today?
You better have a damn good reason for not calling.


We should pick it out together.
I'll choose.