Went to the doctors the other day.
Get into the surgery when his phone rings.
Doc said "I gotta go. Look after the surgery for me while I'm gone. Don't worry, there's only 3 more patients, it won't take long. I'll be back in 15 minutes."
And off he goes.
When he comes back, he asks "How did it go?"
"First person came in - headache. I said 'Take paracetamol.'"
"Well done." Said the Doc.
"Second person came in - Indigestion. I said 'Take gaviscon.'"
"Well done!"
"Third one came in. Couldn't believe it! Beautiful young girl. Took all her clothes off, jumped on the bed and shouted 'Help me! Help me! Help me! I haven't seen a man in years!'"
"Wow! What did you do?"
"I put drops in her eyes"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.