Want to here a good one? My crappy childhood.

Well, I didn’t have the best childhood. We lived in a pretty bad neighborhood. My parents died when I was young, murdered in a break-in in my house. Somehow I survived, the intruder for some reason didn’t kill me, although people tell me all the time that I should’ve died. I had to move in with my aunt and uncle, who were complete dicks. For some reason they never liked me, and they always favored their existing son, my asshole cousin. Basically my childhood was terrible and I didn’t have many friends because of my borderline abusive relationship with my new parents. Life sucked pretty much, and like a lot of children, I was bullied, even by my own cousin.

This all changed one day when this man came to our nice vacation home (we were pretty rich), who claimed he worked at a prestigious boarding school to the north. My Aunt and Uncle were terrified of him for some reason, but he came to tell me that the school wanted me, since my parents went there and were good students. They wanted to continue the tradition of my old family. He also said I had inherited a big fortune from my biological parents. I was ecstatic, my life was finally taking a turn for the better.

I arrived at my new school by train the next month, to the dismay of my Aunt and Uncle. I was joyful with glee, but overwhelmed by this sudden change in my life. The same guy who first came to our house helped me buy books and our new school uniform. I fit in at school pretty well, and immediately made two great friends. I was finally starting to have a good outlook on life, and everything at my new school was going great until that asshole Voldemort showed up and tried to kill me again.