These are two jokes my dad used to tell me when I was a kid.
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Unfortunately, a man fell out of an airplane.
Fortunately, there was a haystack below him.
Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork in the haystack.
Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork.
Unfortunately he missed the haystack.
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A sailor comes up to his ship's captain, gasping for breath, trying to choke something out. After a minute of exasperated gasping, the captain finally says, "Spit it out lad!" And the sailor starts singing, "♪Oh the admiral's fallen overboard and now he's half a mile behind♪"
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