The flashy guy says, "I got my wive a pink Cadillac and a diamond ring." The humble guy replies, "Why did you choose that combo?" Flashy responds, "Well, if she doesn't like the diamond ring I picked out, she can always drive herself back to the store and pick out a new one! ... So, what did you get your wife?"
The humble guy thinks about it and says, "Well, I, kind of, got the same thing: pink slippers and a dildo." The flashy guy looks perplexed. "Why did you get her that?" he asks. Humble replies, "Well, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
Source: My dad on a camping trip.
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