Two irish men are sitting at a bar.

A man in a suit walks in and sits down near them. So Patrick says to his friend "Look at that guy in his suit, he must have an important job". So he gets up and walks over to the smart dressed man. "Hello, I couldn't help but notice how smart you're dressed, you must have an important job". "Why yes I do, thank you, I am a professor at the university" replies the man. "Wow" exclaims Patrick "what do you teach?". "Well I am a professor of logic" the man says proudly. "What is that?" asks Patrick. "Well let me give you an example" says the professor "Do you have a pond in your garden?". "Why yes i do" answers Patrick. "Do you keep fish in the pond?" the professor asked. "Yes I keep a few" says Patrick. "So logic would then suggest that you have a big garden, and if you have a big garden that you have a big house and therefore you have a lot of children". Patrick now astonished "Yes, I have 6 children, this is amazing". "I'm not finished yet" says the professor "So with all these children, logic would imply that you are happily married and that you therefore don't masturbate". Patrick now in shock replies "Amazing, yes this is all true, thank you very much". So they shake hands and Patrick returns to his friend, who asks "So what was that about?". Well says Patrick "he was a professor of logic at the local university, let me try explain with an example. Do you have a pond in your garden?". To which his friend replies "A small one". So Patrick then asks "Do you keep fish in it". "Can't say I do Patrick". To which Patrick then says "So logic would then suggest that you are a Wanker".