Trying to buy things in Soviet Russia.

(not my own creation, just ran into them and I think they should be told a lot)

There was this old grandfather in Moscow who was a little confused. His neighbors knew that, so when they saw him standing outside his door with an empty shopping bag, they tried to help:

"Grandpa, what are you doing?"

"Ah, sorry, I forgot. Do you know if I'm going out shopping or have I already returned?"

They could tell him that he wasn't away yet, so he went to see if the butcher had any meat today. But the butcher said:

"Grandpa, you're confused again. We don't have any milk, the butcher without any meat is across the street."

So the grandpa asked around and heard that another butcher had just received a shipment. He went there, but discovered that there was already a line around the block. There was no choice but to stand in line as well.

A few hours later, as the grandpa was almost at the front, the butcher shouted that there is nothing left. The grandpa had enough at this point. He started to yell:

"I fought in the Revolution under Lenin and again defended our Motherland when Hitler marched in! And yet we poor people have nothing?! This is an outrage!"

A few soldiers overheard him and pulled him aside.

"Grandpa, if Stalin would be still alive, we'd shoot you on the spot for your yelling. Just calm down and go home. There's nothing you can do here."

The grandpa grumbles a bit, but agrees to calm down and return home. He safely arrives and his wife sees him returning empty-handed:

"So, they didn't have any meat today again?"

He awnsers:

"It's gotten even worse. The butcher not only didn't have any meat, the soldiers didn't have any bullets either!"