Trump's first 30 days in office

Day 1: ISIS surrenders, admitting America is just too great now to fight
Day 2 Global warming stops
Day 3: Mexico volunteers to build the wall using illegal Mexican refugee child as labor
Day 4: Solves Israeli Palestinian conflict by moving Palestinian to Indian reservations
Day 5: Replaces Obamacare with a terrific new system
Day 6: Announce unemployment is now 0%
Day 7: Rest
Day 8: Has meeting with God to discuss the whole Muslin issue
Day 9: Announced the last illegal Mexican has left the country
Day 10: Has Presidential Physical and White House doctor announce he is the healthiest man on earth
Day 11: North Korea renounces communism and become 51th state
Day 12: China drops the Yuan and adopts the dollar
Day 13: Replaces Pope with oldest son
Day 14: All fifty states establish a state holiday to honor Donald Trump
Day 15: Last Muslin leaves the United States
Day 16: Closes EPA and uses funds to build new golf courses to keep kids away from drugs
Day 17: Announces incest is now legal, Ivanka moves to Mexico
Day 18: Replaces Democratic party with the Republican lite party
Day 19: Announces America is now Great Again
Day 20: Has Hillary confined to Guantanamo Bay for life
Day 21: Replaces all 7 supreme courts justices with past winners of The Apprentice
Day 22: Bans Inflation
Day 23: Passes law returning women to the kitchen where they belong
Day 24: Putin retires, claiming America is simply too great to compete with
Day 25: Dismantle cabinet since he really does not need any advice
Day 26: Adds his face to Mount Rushmore
Day 27: Defunds Planned Parenthood and uses proceeds to rebuild Americas entire infrastructure
Day 28: Personally pays off national debt
Day 29: Imprisons Obama for being the Antichrist
Day 30: Donald rests. This in no way indicates He was weary from His terrific efforts, but denotes that his creation is complete and American is really really great again