So there's this kid, let's call him Jerry. He's been eyeing this girl at school for months now, and there's a big dance coming up. He knows she doesn't have a date, and he would give anything to go with her- but there's a problem. Whenever he gets close to her, he gets an erection that would rival that of Charlie Sheen in an unsupervised pharmacy. He thinks he has a solution: just call her! He calls her, and stutters a bit on the phone, but she finds his stammering cute and accepts his proposal. "Pick me up at seven," she says. "Oh joyous day!" says Jerry. His joy is short-lived, however, because he realizes that he has only delayed the inevitable. How can he conceal his boner? He tries a number of solutions, including willpower, distractions, baggy pants-- nothing works. Finally, he decides to just tie it to his leg. Feeling confident, he heads off to her house. He's all dressed up, he brought her flowers, his car is cleaned, everything is in order. He walks up to the door and rings the bell. She opens the door. He kicks her in the face.
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