Translating Male Phrases

The true meanings of some common male phrases:

"I'm going fishing."
Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means... "I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means... "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late."
Really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break honey, you're working too hard."
Really means... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting dear."
Really means... "Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means... "I forgot our anniversary again."

"That's women's work."
Really means... "It's difficult, dirty and thankless."