Tough Questions

The 5 toughest questions for men are:


1. What are you thinking about?


2. Do you love me?


3. Do I look fat?


4. Do you think she is prettier than me?


5. What would you do if I died?


What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly ( i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.


Question #1: What are you thinking about?


The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."


(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")


Question #2: Do you love me?


The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."


Inappropriate responses include:


a. Oh yeah, loads.


b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?


c. That depends on what you mean by love.


d. Does it matter?


e. Who, me?


Question #3: Do I look fat?


The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"


Among the incorrect answers are:


a. Compared to what?


b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.


c. A little extra weight looks good on you.


d. I've seen fatter.


e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question #4: Do you think she's prettier than me?


Once again, the proper response is always: "Of course not!"


Incorrect responses include:


a. Yes, but you have a better personality.


b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.


c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.


d. Define pretty..


e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question #5: What would you do if I died?


A definite no-win question.


Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Yisman