Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have gotten married after ten years of dating. That’s right ladies, Brad Pitt is officially “sort-of off the market.”
…we’re told Brad Pitt proposed by getting down on one knee, then knowingly chuckling to himself for nine minutes.
It’s been reported that more than 1,000 Russian troops are in Ukraine, despite Russia’s denials. Vladimir Putin explained that the armed men aren’t soldiers, there’s no such place as Russia, and 1,000 isn’t a real number.
To keep up with fashion trends, Abercrombie & Fitch are going to stop branding their clothes with a logo. The company has explained to customers that they can let people know they’re wearing Abercrombie & Fitch by periodically shouting, “I’m a douche!”
Joan Rivers is “resting comfortably” after being put into a medically-induced coma during complications from surgery. When Joan Rivers woke up, she took a look at herself in the mirror, then went right back into the coma.
…The doctor at the hospital said Rivers would need to stay overnight for observation, then looked at her and asked that she leave immediately.
A brewery in Texas is now selling a 99-pack of beer. The 99-pack of beer is so popular, it’s just been designated as the state’s preferred method of execution.
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