Topical Jokes for 11/2

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

In Alabama, a man who robbed a Subway said he did so because he tried the “Subway Diet”, but didn’t lose weight. Police describe the suspect as armed and extremely gullible.

In New York City, a health department worker was suspended for using a “robotic-sounding voice” when answering the phone. During the man’s suspension, his phone will be answered by an actual robot.

A Maryland man has been charged with sending an email that threatened to kill President Obama. Obama said it was the nicest email he’s gotten in months.

In Texas, a man called the police after a woman broke into his home, and performed oral sex on him without his consent. Police arrived on the scene, and the man was arrested.

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