1. I want to thank your great land for not turning my young boy into a political football.2. I will only be interviewed by respected ABC newsman Leonardo DiCaprio.3. As long as I'm here, I also want to take back Jennifer Lopez.4. Please don't let Robert Urich play me in the movie version of this whole mess.5. I don't care if you are from the Yankees - I can't pitch!6. Elian can wait - first I visit the grave of Ricky Ricardo.7. I bow to your superior capitalist system which has given the world the hat that holds two beer cans.- "The Late Show with David Letterman"
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