Timmy's Thanksgiving

Timmy was a good kid. Thanksgiving day he walked into his living room and saw his parents fighting.

They were yelling back and forth "you bitch, you bastard, you bitch, you bastard."
Timmy asked, "What's a bitch and a bastard?"
His mom said, "A bitch and bastard are polite ways to say lady and gentleman. Now go outside and play."

So Timmy went outside and was playing when he heard a voice coming from his next door neighbor's window. The voice said, "Stick your penis in my vagina."

Timmy went inside and asked his mom what a penis and vagina were. His mom said, "A penis and vagina are terms for scarf and coat."

After this, Timmy went upstairs to see what his father was doing. His dad was shaving. Suddenly his dad cut himself and yelled, "SHIT!"
Timmy asked, "What is shit?"
His dad said, " Shit is a type of shaving cream. Now go downstairs."

Timmy went downstairs and into the kitchen. His mom was carving the turkey. His mom cut herself and shouted, "Fuck!"
Timmy asked, "What is fuck mom?"
His mom said, "Fuck is a way to carve a turkey."

All of a sudden the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of the guests. Timmy went to answer the door.

He opened the door and said, " Hello bitches and bastards, let me take you penises and vaginas, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey."