TIL a random man dressed as a pro soccer team's star player got put in near the end of the game while the real guy was in the bathroom. The coach couldn't make any more switches and had to leave the man in for the rest of the game.

Last chance to...

Speak now or forever hold your pees.

A guy goes to his...

And he tells him, "doc, something is wrong with me. Every night I fall...

ABC's of Ex...

A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out...

Notable Never-isms

• Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time....

A black guy walks...

A blond across the room is drunk and feeling frisky, so she walks up and...

My favorite here...

Helen Keller walks into a bar. And then a table. And then a chair....

Honey, give me...

-Wait until he cries -Until he cries..? Why..? -Because I can't find him...

One day a lady...

One day a lady went to the doctors' office and told the doctor that her...

In Summertime,...

Heatstroke.

A pipe burst

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived,...