The first man says: "Well, for sure it's light. Light is the fastest thing in the universe".
The second man says: "You're not wrong, but I think thought is the fastest thing in the universe... You can travel anywhere with your mind in an instant".
The third man says: "Well... both of these are good ideas but I have one that beats it... The fastest thing is the shits... because if you get the shits, you won't have time to neither turn on the lights nor think about it".
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