Three midgets attempt individual Guinness world records

For sake of clarity the punch line at the end is intended to have a friends name inserted when the joke is told.

So one evening three midgets are drinking at a bar in New York City. As the evening progresses one midget has an idea. With excitement he turns to his friends and says "seeing how we are midgets I bet we each have certain features of our body that are the smallest of any in the world!"

Another chimes in "hey that means we could all get into the Guinness Book of World Records!"

All three consider this and decide on the body part they believe to be their smallest, then walk to the office of the Guinness Book of World Records.

Upon arriving the first midget walks in a announces that he believes he has the smallest hands in the world. The official leads him to another room to verify. Moments later the first midget walks out and announces that he does in fact have the smallest hands in the world and is now a world record holder.

The second midget then announces that he too believes he can be a world record holder and shouts "I have the smallest feet of any person in the world!" The official leads him away to verify. Sure enough he walks out of the room with a smile across his face. He too is now a world record holder.

Now the third midgets turn and he seems timid. His friends encourage him to continue. "I believe that I have the smallest penis in the world." A bit stunned the official leads him away.

Moments later the midgets emerges from the room visibly flustered. His friends ask "so what did he say, did you get the world record?"

"No I didn't, and who the fuck is Unidan?"