Three men die and go to heaven.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates they see St. Peter standing before them. The first man steps forward.

"What did you do in your life?" Asked the saint.

"I was a comedian," the first man said.

"Really?" mused Peter. "What jokes did you tell?"

"I told Jewish jokes." The man replied.

"That's horrible!" Exclaimed Peter. "It's a terrible sin to discriminate against others."

"With respect," the man replied, "I am Jewish. I was born in Brooklyn after my father left Poland, he survived the Holocaust. My uncle is a Rabbi in New Jersey and my brother lives in Tel Aviv. I never ate pork or shellfish, I always observed Yom Kippur and I never missed Temple. If anything I was in a better position to tell these jokes than anyone else."

St. Peter thought about it for a second and replied, "Alright then, I can see your point, you're free to go through."

The man thanked Peter and ran through the gates. Then the second man stood forward.

"What did you do in your life?" Asked the saint.

The second man smiled and said, "Actually I was a comedian too."

"Really?" Laughed Peter. "What jokes did you tell?"

"I told Irish jokes," the man replied.

Peter looked disgusted. "Didn't you hear? It's a terrible sin to discriminate against others!"

"With respect," the second man replied, "I am Irish. I was born in Boston and my great-great grandfather emigrated during the Famine. My uncle owns a bar in Chicago and my brother lives in Dublin. I always marched on St Patricks Day, I drank Guinness, I supported Irish Unity and I was a good Catholic. If anything I was in a better position to tell these jokes than anyone else."

St. Peter thought about it for a second and replied, "Alright then, I can see your point, you're free to go through."

The second man thanked Peter and ran through the gates. Then the third man stepped forward.

"Let me guess, you where a comedian too?" Peter asked.

"Actually I was." Replied the third man, looking sheepish.

The saint rolled his eyes. "Well I guess I can let another one of you jokers in so long as you also told jokes about yourself."

"Oh I did!" Beamed the man.

"In that case on you go." The saint waved him through. Just before the man stepped through the gates Peter turned around. "What jokes did you tell by the way?"

The man looked back at Peter as he ran through the gate. "I told racist jokes cause I'm a racist!"


(Sorry if this was shit I thought of it whilst drunk.)