Saint Peter explains that before they are allowed in, they need to tell him the story of their death.
The first man explains, "Well, I was having a bad day at work, so I left early and came home. When I got to my apartment, I noticed that my wife was there, and loud moans were coming from the bedroom. I thought she might have a man in there so I ran and got my hammer, and couldn't help but start shouting that I was going to kill him. I get into the bedroom with my hammer, and sure enough there she is trying to throw on her clothes. I run out to the balcony, where I find the guy she was sleeping with, dangling off the balcony, probably trying to jump down to the apartment below us. Well I start bashing his fingers with my hammer until he lets go. We live on the 9th floor, but it looked like he didn't die because he landed on a bush. He was definitely injured though because he wasn't moving much. I was so furious that I needed to kill him. I looked around my apartment for something heavy to drop on him. I don't know where I got the strength from, but I lifted up my refrigerator and hoisted it over the balcony, where it fell 9 storied, and crushed him. I was so upset that I jumped over the balcony myself, and that's how I died."
The 2nd man goes "well I live on the 11th floor of an apartment building. I was home, out on my balcony enjoying myself, when all of a sudden a huge gust of wind came and blew me off the balcony. I scrambled to grab on to anything and luckily I caught the balcony a few floors below me. As I was struggling to pull myself up, this madman came out with a hammer and started smashing my fingers in! I couldn't hold on and fell all the way to the ground. Luckily again, I landed on a bush and was dazed, but okay. Then I looked up and saw this huge box start to fall on me. It got bigger... and bigger...and SPLAT. It smashed me, and that's how I died."
The 3rd man goes, "Well, I left work early to go back to my secretary's apartment, to have some fun. As things started heating up, I heard someone come into her apartment. She told me her husband is crazy and I'd better go hide. I looked and looked for somewhere to hide, when finally I decided on, the refrigerator..."
edit: Sorry that you wasted your time reading this terrible joke!
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.