This is the story of an Egyptian named...

Benny. One day, Benny was strolling along the banks of the Nile, minding his own business. However, he came across an urn, buried in the sand. The urn was all dusty and dented and cracked and bent and generally broken. However, Benny decided to rub the urn with his sleeve, thinking he might be able to get a few coins out of it. But suddenly, out of the urn came a Genie!

The genie stretched and yawned and said: "Oh! Thank you! Thank you so much! I can't tell you how long I've been in that urn! You're a lucky man, fella. Very lucky."

"Why?" said Benny.

"Because you've got wishes coming your way, friend. Three, to be exact."

So Benny thought for a while and said, "Ok, I want some new threads." And thus he got a fancy toga. And then he said "I could use a new house." And a fancy mansion made of fine marble popped up.

Finally, Benny said: "And, for my final wish, I'd like to be immortal. I wanna live forever."

The genie was taken back a bit and thought for a while: "Well, that's, um, that's a bit of an expensive wish, you see. Hm. Tell you what. I'll make you immortal, but on one condition. You can never, ever, shave your beard or cut your hair. If you do, you're gonna get sucked into an urn. That's how I ended up like this. Deal?"

"Deal," said Benny.

So the Genie granted his wish and Benny began wandering the world. He saw Rome rise and fall, the Dark Ages get lighter, the New World grow and prosper. He went all over the planet, from China to Germany to Canada to Brazil. But all this time, Benny had never fallen in love.

But one day, Benny came across a beautiful woman on the beach. He walked up to her and introduced himself. And as the woman brushed the hair out of his face they gazed into each other's eyes, and it was love at first sight. They danced and they laughed and they sung, and it was a happy time for both of them.

One day, on the same beach they had met on, Benny got down on one knee and asked the woman to marry him. The woman thought for a while.

"Benny," she said, "I'll marry you. But only if you shave your beard and cut your hair. It's long and dirty and full of rats, and whenever we go to see a movie it takes up eight seats."

Benny sat down and mulled this over. The Genie and the urn were long gone, he thought. Who would notice if he cut his hair and shaved his beard. He happily agreed, and went to the pharmacy and bought 400 disposable razors and 25 cans of shaving cream.

He went into the bathroom, and waved to his girlfriend, saying he'd be out in a bit. You could hear the *chic, chic* of the razor and the *pst, pst* of the shaving cream. Then suddenly, it all went quiet.

His girlfriend, after a while, knocked on the door. *Tap tap* "Benny?" *Tap Tap* "Benny?!" *TAP TAP* "BENNY?!?"

Finally she pushed open the door, and on the ground lay around 8 cubic yards of hair, and an urn.

So, there's a moral to this story.

And that moral is, a Benny shaved, is a Benny urned.