Things You Can't Say at Work

ahhh...i see the f***-up fairy has visited us again...


i don't know what your problem is, but i'll bet it's hard to pronounce.


i see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.


i'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.


it sounds like english, but i can't understand a word you're saying.


i can see your point, but i still think you're full of s***.


i like you. you remind me of when i was young and stupid.


you are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.


i have plenty of talent and vision. i just don't give a damn.


i'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.


thank you. we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.


what am i? flypaper for freaks!?


yes, i am an agent of satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.


and your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?


do i look like a people person?


this isn't an office. it's hell with fluorescent lighting.


sarcasm is just one more service we offer.


if i throw a stick, will you leave?


i'm trying to imagine you with a personality.


can i trade this job for what's behind door #1?


how do i set a laser printer to stun?


i thought i wanted a career, turns out i just wanted a paycheck.