Things to Do On Your Next Flight

1. Ride on the baggage claim machine and go around in circles, don't leave until security comes.

2. Ride on those carts and pretend you're in the Batmobile.

3. When checking in, and the attendant takes your baggage and puts it into the machine say you left your passport, bag, purse, flight ticket etc. in there, when they take back the luggage, say you found it in your wallet.

4. Ask for Snerples while on the plane and insist you must have one.

5. Ask where the airport is in the information stand.

6. If you are sitting next to a kid on a plane, point out that you just saw a UFO come by.

7. When the plane is airborne, tell the flight attendant you got on the wrong flight.

8. Pretend to snore REALLY loudly and insist that you sleep this way.

9. Continously ask the flight attendant, "Are we there yet?"

10. Ask the flight attendant if you can speak to the pilot, if they say no, start crying really loudly.

11. If the flight attendant lets you see the pilot, ask the pilot if you can press every button on the controls.

12. Act constipated in the bathroom for as long as you can, when you come out say you had too much breakfast.

13. Stay in the bathroom for a REALLY long time, say you "fell in" if anyone asks you what you were doing in there.

14. Cry really loudly and say you miss your family.

15. When done crying, cry louder, and say you miss your dog.

16. If walking in a narrow aisle and people are behind you, walk really slowly.

17. When asked to do take out your passport, dig through your pockets, purse, bag, etc. for a REALLY LONG TIME.

18. When coming out of the gate, go out to random people and start hugging them and say things like, "I've haven't seen you in a long time."

19. Completely ignore the people that are supposed to pick you up.

20. Attempt to do this all in one flight.