The scientists thought it would be scientifically valuable to put a cork up an elephants backside so it couldn't shit, feed it for three months then pull the cork out and measure the results.
They thought this would be dangerous so trained a monkey to pull the cork when a red light went.
The big day finally came and the highly sophisticated experiment was all set up. the first scientist was 1 mile away, the second scientist was 2 miles away and the third scientist was 3 miles away from the elephant.
They pushed the button, the red light went and the monkey pulled the cork out. Shit went everywhere!
The first scientist was up to his hips in shit, the second up to his knees and the third up to his ankles. Scientists 2 and 3 looked through those binoculars and noticed scientist 1 laughing his head off. So they put on their special shit skis and trudged up to the first scientist.
When they finally arrived he was still laughing. They said what's so funny?
He stopped laughing long enough to say "you shoulda seen the monkey trying to put the cork back in!"
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