He and his crew were sailing along the open seas one day when the mate in the crow's nest yelled down to the captain "*ARGH*, Captain! There's a ship on the horizon!"
The Captain then said to another mate "*ARRGGHH*, fetch me me red shirt!"
The mate fetched the red shirt and gave it to the Captain. When the ship got close enough, the pirates attacked it, killed the crew, took the spoils, and sunk the ship.
Some time later, the mate in the crows nest yelled down to the Captain "*ARGH*, Captain! There's another ship on the horizon!"
Again, the Captain said to other mate "*ARRGGHH*, fetch me me red shirt!"
The mate fetched the red shirt and gave it to the captain. They attacked the ship, killed the crew, took the spoils, and sank the ship.
This happened again and again, day after day, more ships, more attacks, more spoils, and more red shirts until finally the mate asked the Captain "Captain, why do you always have me fetch you your red shirt before we attack a ship?"
The Captain said to the mate "*ARRGGHH*, it's because the enemy can't see if I been shot or stabbed during the fight!"
Then some time later, the mate in the crow's nest yelled down to the Captain "*ARGH*, Captain!!! There's twenty ships on the fucking horizon!"
The Captain then said to the other mate "*ARRRGGGHHH*! Fetch me me brown pants!"
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