There once was a man in a happy marriage, save for one aspect - his member was so sizable he could not fully insert himself into his wife without causing her pain...

There once was a man in a happy marriage, save for one aspect - his member was so sizable he could not fully insert himself into his wife without causing her pain.

One night, this frustration boiled over, and he headed out to find a bordello - surely, if he was to find a woman to accommodate his size, it would be there.

As he walks into the parlor, he eyes a man behind the counter and tells him his troubles.

The man says, "Well, that's a pickle, but I'm Harold, the janitor.

You want to speak with Helga, the Headmistress," pointing to the side.

He walks over to her and repeats the story.

Money exchanges hands, and he's directed down the hall, first room on the left.

He's never actually been with a prostitute before, so some awkward conversation precludes intercourse.

In the act, he manages to get a third of the way in before she starts yelping in pain.

He pulls out, apologizes for the inconvenience, and goes back to the Headmistress.

She's a little taken aback, but still proposes a solution - second door, right side.

The man is a more than a little frustrated (and certainly a touch embarrassed), by this point, so no conversation occurs and he gets right into it.

A third goes in.

Then half.

She yelps.

He dismounts, and storms back to the Headmistress, not even bothering to put his clothes back on.

He demands a refund.

She tells him that she has one last option for him - if it doesn't work, she will gladly refund every penny of his purchase.

Last door on the left.

He goes in, and the room is very dark.

A woman lies on the bed, waiting for him.

He mounts her - a third of the way, half-way, and all the way in.

She offers no complaint.

Gleefully he begins thrusting, when to his horror (and the dim light) he notices she appears to be foaming from the mouth.

In a panic, he runs back to the Headmistress.

"That girl is foaming at the mouth! I think you need to call a doctor!"

The Headmistress rolls her eyes.

"For fuck's sake. Harold! The dead girl is full again!"