9. Sell stock in Microsoft and AOL, invest everything in shotguns and bottled water.
8. Move computer's clock ahead now to test for co^^^NO CARRIER
7. Start writing an exquisitely obscene job-resignation letter.
6. Stockpile semen to repopulate Earth in case post-Apocalypse chicks still won't have sex with you.
5. Open checking accounts in dozens of different banks with no more than $20 in each, and wait for a windfall.
4. Convert to Judaism, then begin worrying about the Y10K bug.
3. Party like its 1899
2. Discard toasters made before 1995 because nobody likes bread toasted for 2 minutes and 100 years.
1. Send Schwarzenegger back in time to bitch slap those lazy COBOL engineers.
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
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