The Top 16 Traits Of a Highly Ineffective Sales Person


16. His close? "You might find a better price elsewhere -- but don't let me catch you doing it, pal!"


15. Refers to your wife as, "Your passenger-side airbag, there".


14. Bursts into tears when someone shakes his hand firmly.


13. Starts every demo with, "In spite of what you may have read in Consumer Reports..."


12. Wears a clown costume to all sales calls, because everyone loves a clown.


11. Promotes her new album by tearing up a picture of the Pope.


10. That catchy, "Sure, our product sucks, but at least it's expensive as hell."


9. Not only takes "no" for an answer, he insists on it.


8. Her big sales pitch: A complimentary receipt with every purchase.


7. Upon first sign of rejection, offers 15 for the price 1.


6. "Loves Oreos" and "talks with food in mouth" aren't particularly compatible characteristics.


5. His nickname around the office: "The Capitulator."


4. In the first pitch meeting, she calls you "Pinky" and your boss "Tubby."


3. Surly De Niroesque responses of "Are you talkin' to me?" unnerve customers.


2. Doesn't care if you don't buy anything as long as you laugh at his Ghandi impersonation.


1. Claims everything he sells can "double as an ass scratcher."

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