The Top 16 Things We Wish We Had Never Said (Part II)

16> "I'm voting for Nader. It won't make a difference in the election, but it'll definitely get the Democrats' attention."


15> "Surely the smartest, not the strongest, should lead. So you tell your Mr. Dover there's a *new* head of Cell Block D."


14> "Go ahead and marry her, Dad. I'm sure Anna Nicole really loves you."


13> "I'll bet a splash of Aqua Velva would feel refreshing on my newly shaved scrotum."


12> "Hey, if I'm going to get drunk and pass out, the safest place to do it is right here in my own frat house."


11> "Please, God, just let me pass this final and I promise I'll never smoke pot again as long as I live."


10> "Hey, Sean Penn! Say 'cheese!'"


9> "Man, being Martha Stewart's lawyer is boring. I wish something interesting would happen."


8> "Okay, fine! That dress *does* make your butt look big! Happy now, Ms. Bloated Water Retaining Menstrual Cramp?!?"


7> "Hey, man, let's celebrate tonight's concert by *all* of us getting Milli Vanilli tattoos!"


6> "No, Britney, I think we should wait until we're out of high school to have sex."


5> "Mr President, as Director of the CIA, I believe it's my responsibility to inform you that Saddam Hussein has been making fun of the way you pronounce the word 'nuclear.'"


4> "I bet your breasts would look great in zero gravity."


3> "We're sorry, Ms. Rowling, we just can't imagine this whole wizard thing catching on with today's kids."


2> "Free LASIK surgery done by medical students? Sweet!"


1> "Hey, this Starbucks place is pretty good! I wish they'd open up one in my house."


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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]