15> Purchase of this product does not guarantee opportunity to actually use this product.
14> Improper attachment may create choking hazard.
13> DANGER: You *do* realize he's never going to call you after this, don't you?
12> We call it "large," but that's just to make you feel better, stud.
11> This product does not prevent beer-goggle regret.
10> "Ribbed" is in no respect meant to imply any guarantee that your particular use of this object will actually result in "her pleasure."
9> Caution: Contents should not be mixed with alcohol and high school reunions.
8> The United States Government has recommended a Constitutional Amendment banning use of this product by anyone who is single or under 18 years of age.
7> The baby you prevent with this prophylactic will forever jab your sinning ass with pitchforks in Hell.
6> Only to be used in a locked and upright position.
5> Warning: May be used by pedophile circus clowns to make balloon French poodles.
4> Using this condom for same-sex acts is inconsistent with U.S. government policy -- and don't think we're not watching, Nancy-Boy!
3> Caution: Removal process may involve painful yanking of pubic hair.
2> Not to be taken internally unless filled with cocaine.
1> Surgeon General Warning: Cigarette smoking after use of this product has been found to cause cancer in happy, sexually satisfied laboratory animals.
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[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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