The Top 15 Signs You're Staying at a NASCAR Hotel


15> Nightly turn-down service includes a little tin of Skoal left on your pillow.


14> For every night you stay, your sister stays with you free.


13> The sports bar has a Jeff Gordon dart board.


12> Potpourri in the bathroom smells of scorched tires.


11> The Bible in your night stand has illustrations of all the begetting.


10> The hallways are full of rednecks on lawn chairs with coolers.


9> For religious guests, a statuette of a haloed Dale Earnhardt is provided in every room.


8> A team of eight maids gets your room cleaned in 13 seconds flat -- while you're still in bed.


7> Some guy who's missing a few teeth keeps screaming at you to scrub harder while you're in the shower.


6> The "VRROOOMM service" menu? Nothin' but biscuits 'n' gravy.


5> Pick-up lines in the cocktail lounge usually include the term "pole sitter."


4> The "Magic Fingers" bed vibrates about 10 times too fast, drowns out anything less than a shout and occasionally rolls over and bursts into flames.


3> The mini-bar is stocked with pork rinds, Velveeta, Slim Jims and Pabst Blue Ribbon.


2> "Here's your room key, sir. To get to your suite, go to the end of the hall and turn left, then left again, then take a left, then...."


1> When newlyweds consummate their marriage in the honeymoon suite, a checkered flag drops from the ceiling and they're expected to do a victory lap in the lobby.


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.