15 Spouse using your toothbrush to scrub tile grout.
14 Candlelight dinners now illuminated by sticks of dynamite.
13 Spouse has gone from moaning while making love to moaning ABOUT making love.
12 The only thigh you see on your anniversary is at KFC.
11 Being funny via e-mail to 7,000 strangers is now your main source of sexual gratification.
10 Morning breath no longer gives you that same thrill.
9. Husband's casual suggestions to "try swinging" are growing alarmingly frequent.
8. Your husband wants to adopt -- a 17 year-old waitress from TGI Fridays.
7. A romantic Saturday night at home now includes Dr.Quinn, Medicine Woman.
6 Wife keeping list of things she'll do after you're finally dead.
5 "Darling I'm home" now followed by, "Could you be more specific?"
4 Request for sex now gets you $100 and a map of the city.
3 Wife constantly asks, "Why can't you be more like Squiffy?"
2 Quick review of your phone bill reveals hundreds of late night phone calls to Buckingham palace.
1 Every morning is the same: Wake up, have your coffee, go retrieve your penis from the front garden.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.