The Top 15 Other Benefits of Smoking Pot


15> Gets babes so wasted that even geeky research scientists have a shot at scoring.


14> Combats hyperactivity. Or activity, for that matter.


13> Even decades after episodic non-inhalatory usage, subject is inspired towards adventurous sexual encounters and visions of bridges to the 21st century.


12> Share quality time with your children, because Pokemon cartoons become fun for the WHOLE family!


11> Constant giggling is great for the abs.


10> Magically renders sports slo-mo replays indistinguishable from the original.


9> Enables Frito-Lay stockholders to purchase much nicer cars and homes.


8> Relative harmlessness of a cool, mellow buzz allows an ex-stoner to take the moral high ground during presidential debates against an ex-cokehead.


7> *Really* pisses off Nancy Reagan.


6> Transforms complete noise into beautiful, enchanting music (Grateful Dead fans only).


5> Drastically reduces your risk of becoming a Supreme Court Judge.


4> Allows for long enlightening chats with Isaac Asimov on the wonders of the universe -- even though he's dead.


3> Expiration dates on household food items rendered instantly meaningless.


2> Almost makes "Saturday Night Live" funny again!


1> Without pot: $10,000 home entertainment system with 50" high-definition TV, 12 speakers and THX Surround-Sound.With pot: $20 lava lamp.


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]


[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]

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