The Top 14 Signs Your SUV Is Too Damn Big (Part II)


14> It's impossible to drive it in ONLY Rhode Island.


13> Your threats to "turn around and end this trip right now!" must be phoned in to be heard.


12> Backing out of the driveway requires canal locks, four tugboats, a team of engineers and clearance from the FAA.


11> Al Roker's bariatric surgeon recommends you bring it into the garage to have its engine stapled.


10> It has its own congressman.


9> Climate control includes settings for the ozone level.


8> When you floor it, the earth slows down a tad.


7> You're spending too much time prying Honda Civics out of your tire treads.


6> Every time you fill up, Saddam Hussein goes, "Cha-CHING!"


5> You have a "War and Peace" bumper sticker -- the entire novel.


4> Your penis is actually shrinking just to compensate.


3> Three times this week you had to get the dealer to scrape migrating geese off the bumper.


2> Greenpeace has assigned the "Rainbow Warrior" Micro Bus to position itself between your SUV and the endangered Isuzu Amigos.


1> Rebel forces mistake it for a small moon.


[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]


[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]

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