The Top 14 Signs Your Spy Mission is in Jeopardy

14> Due to budget cutbacks, you now carry a "Learner's Permit to Kill."


13> Turns out the ejector should go under the *passenger* seat.


12> You're unsure what to make of sudden arrival of moose and squirrel.


11> 43 thumbnails of you on nudedoubleagents.com.


10> As evil henchmen pursue your Aston Martin down a winding mountain road, you suddenly realize you don't know how to drive a stick.


9> Note found under your windshield wipers reads, "All your listening device are belong to us!"


8> No hot babe waiting for you at the airport makes you think that maybe Moscow, Texas wasn't where you were supposed to go.


7> "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to walk back and forth touching the squares as they light up." (Oops! That's a sign your mission is in "Wheel Of Fortune.")


6> The little old guy that makes those cool gadgets got fired, and swore the company would "rue the day."


5> Turns out your seductive secret contact is really *Matt* Hari.


4> An audible third-party snicker breaks up your phone conversation about "issile-may ans-play."


3> Chinese officials cracked your code by blotting out the words "in bed" from the end of every sentence.


2> Shuttle launch to invade enemy space station delayed by some scrawny bald Californian demanding to go up with you.


1> After staking out that international business for weeks, all you've learned is that the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity Breakfast isn't served after 11.


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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]