The Three Worst Torture Tests Known to Man

A starving man has been walking through the woods for days. He
has no food, and no shelter. As he is walking he comes upon an
old house. Glad to finally see some civilization he runs to the
door and raps on it loudly. An old man answers. The starving man
asks the old man if he will give him shelter and food for the
night. Saying that he will be gone in the morning. The old man
agrees, saying that he can stay on one condition only. He must
not go any where near his granddaughter. If he does, he will
regret it greatly. The starving man agrees...after all, what
kind of girl would live so far out in the woods?


That night at the supper table the man and the granddaughter
can't keep their eyes off each other. They decide to meet up
later on. And when they do, it's like nothing either of them
have ever experienced before.


The next morning the man suddenly wakes up in his own room
because he feels a heavy weight on his chest. He looks down and
sees a rock sitting there. On it, it says "First Worst Torture
Test Known to Man--Rock on Chest." The man laughs and thinks, is
this all? This is going to be easy. So he gets out of bed, and
throws the rock out the window. As the rock is hurtling toward
the ground below he notice's another note stuck to the other
side of the rock it reads "Second Worst Torture Test Known to
Man--Rock Tied to Left Testicle." In a panic the man tries to
reach for the rock, realizing that it is too far out the window
to catch, he decides to jump out after it. On his way down, the
man sees a third note taped to the side of the building, it
reads "Third Worst Torture Test Known to Man--Right Testicle
tied to bedpost."