There was a man who was a train engineer, but also drove the train, and has been doing this for around twenty years now. Eventually, the man was bored working on the train one day and rigged it to go faster than normal, and on a curve he needed to slow down for, he sped up, crashing into a building and killing everyone on board except for himself.
He was taken to court, and was found guilty, and sentenced to death. He requested his last meal to be a red banana, only to be found in the depths of Jamaica, so a some people went there, got a red banana, gave it to the man, and put him in the electric chair. "Any last words?" The man simply cursed at the officer and the officer pulled the lever.
"Why didn't it work?" the officer asked.
"Maybe it's because I'm a bad conductor," the man replied.
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