The pope is visiting New York City...

...but due to an error, there's no popemobile delivered. After a lengthy delay, the pope assures them that any car will do fine, so they get him the absolute nicest limousine they can find.

The limo is driving down the highway, and the pope knocks on the window separating him and the driver.

"Excuse me," the pope says, "but we are running a bit late. Could you go a little faster?"

"Of course, your holiness."

The driver speeds up. A few minutes go by, and the pope taps again.

"I am sorry to bother you, but we are quite behind schedule. Can you speed up a little?"

The driver sighs. "I'll do the best I can."

They keep driving. Sure enough a few minutes later, there's a third knock. This time, the driver talks first.

"Your holiness, with all due respect, I simply cannot drive any faster," he says. "I'm at the speed limit, and if we get pulled over, I could lose my license."

"Then may I drive?"

The driver is thrown by that question. "You? A-are you sure?"

"Yes. If there's a problem, I assure you I can explain to the officer that it was my fault."

The driver is perplexed, but he doesn't want to say no to the pope. "S-sure."

They pull over and switch places. As soon as the driver is buckled in in the back, ZOOM. The pope peels out, quickly accelerating to 100 MPH on a busy highway. He's weaving in and out of traffic, he's almost clipping cars, he is cutting people off, driving like an absolute mad man. Within a minute, a police car is zooming right on their tail, sirens blaring. The pope quickly pulls over as the officer rushes over and pounds on the window, ready to pull his gun should there be an incident.

The pope slowly opens the window. "May I help you, officer?"

The police officer stares at him in shock. Seconds tick by with an awkward silence hanging in the air before the officer turns around and goes back to his car, then radios to HQ and demands to speak with the police chief.

"What do you want?" the chief growls.

"Yeah, chief... I just pulled someone over, but I can't arrest him," the cop says. "He's kinda a big deal."

"Big deal? What, some athlete? Son, just because he's an athlete doesn't mean—"

"No. He's much, much bigger than an athlete."

"What, politician? State senator, governor, mayor?"

"Bigger."

There's a long pause. The gruffness in the chief's voice is quickly gone. "Son, did you pull over the goddamn president?"

"Bigger."

Now the chief is flabbergasted. "If he's bigger than the president... god dammit, son, who is he?"

"I don't know, but he's being driven around in a limo by the fuckin' pope!"