"Wanna see a trick?"
"...I can turn anything I touch into a holy item. Watch."
He grabs a shovel, says a few words and sets it back down. Slowly it is surrounded by an amber glow.
"Wow! That's amazing," she says. "I'd like to offer you a job."
So, the Pope accepts her offer and after a few days, people are coming in from far and wide to buy tools and hardware that have been blessed by the Pope, at a mark-up, of course.
Soon, however they begin to realize that these tools are not actually any better at the job, they just glow a little. After word of this gets out, sales plummet at the store.
The clerk takes the Pope aside one day and says, "I need to talk to you. You may have noticed sales have slowed. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to let you go."
"But, why my child? I've made you all these beautiful items, just as you asked."
"Yes Father, but the people have discovered it's just not worth paying 10% more for the same thing. No one's buying your Holy Shit anymore."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.