the old man and the carrot

Once upon a time there was a carrot who got hired to help out this old guy living in Boston. He was one of those freak carrots that had little appendages growing out of his sides that he was somehow able to make function like half-hearted arms.

Anyway, he hated working for this old guy-- partly because he could never understand the man with his heavy accent ... everything was like: "Get the cah ready." ... "Clean my ahhctapus" ... "Take me to tha pahk." It was hard enough to hear as it was, as the carrot had pretty inadequate ears. The old man, was also really bossy and seemed to laugh whenever the carrot messed up, and the carrot, being a carrot, was easily flustered ... and so he kind of hated his job.

But the man paid him regularly, and so he made do. Anyway. One day the old man had decided to move into a new apartment, a studio -- you know, the bed and sofa and kitchen all in the living room, and then just the bathroom. So the carrot, who spent the entire night before packing everything up, was really tired, and was now-- bright and early-- unpacking the boxes in the new place, putting dishes in the cupboards, knick-knacks on shelves, etc., eventually the carrot got to the box with the old man's fishing gear-- that he never used. The man asked the carrot to put the rod in the trunk of the car for now. As the carrot pulled the rod out of the box, the old man looked at him carrying it precariously by the thinner end, and began to worry it was going to snap -- and as the carrot headed toward the door, the old man shouted out, 'That's naht tha whay ya care it!' -- the carrot, exasperated, screamed back, "What do you mean that's not the way! You want me to jump out the window?!" A few days later he was fired.