The neighbors (I've only heard it told in Russian but don't know if it's originally Russian)

Yuriy is walking along the sidewalk one day when he notices posters advertising a competition for the whole town. The contestants have to swim across a river which no one has ever crossed before due to extreme rapids and plant the town's coat of arms in order to impress incoming administrative officials. The poster also states that the winner will receive anything that he or she desires. As Yuriy stares at the poster he daydreams about all of the riches, women, and alcohol he'll indulge in. This allows him to muster up the courage and sign up for the contest.

Anton, Yuriy's neighbor, sees the same poster and daydreams about everything he can have that his neighbor can't. "Surely, this will drive him mad and I can get rid of him once and for all".

When the competition begins and Yuriy swims furiously, Anton, seeing his neighbor in front of him also gives it his all. Both neighbors are the only two that cross the river with Yuriy finishing in first place and Anton in second.

"I congratulate you both," says the mayor, "now for the final prize I will give the winner anything he wants BUT the second place will get double of whatever first place gets."

Shocked Yuriy glares at his neighbor and thinks to himself, "if I get one million dollars then Anton will get two, if I get a mansion, he'll get one twice as big!" After thinking intently, Yuriy looks at the mayor, looks at Anton, and says "take out one of my eyes".