The Naked Spa

An old man decided to pay a Naked Spa a visit. After registering for a new membership and changing into his birthday suit, he decided to take a walk around the place all naked and stuff.

Along the way, he saw a young naked woman which gave him a boner. The woman noticed him, so she walked over to him and said "can I help you?" The old man seemed perplexed and said "excuse me?" "Oh, you must be new here," she said, "you should know that this is a sign of wanting my attention." And just like that, the young woman took him by the arm, sat on a towel near the pool, and had her way with him.

Pleased with his first day thus far, the old man decided to try the sauna, where a burly man was also inside. Before the sauna could turn on, the old man farted. The burly man noticed him, so he turned and asked "can I help you?" The old man seemed perplexed yet worried, and said "excuse me?" "Oh, you must be new here," he said, "you should know that this is a sign of wanting my attention." So the burly man went over to the old man, wrapped his arm around him, and had his way with him.

The old man furiously walked over to the naked register lady and demanded a cancellation to his subscription and a refund. The lady seemed puzzled and asked him what was the matter. "when I got a boner, a lady noticed me and I had my way with her," he scoffed, "then when I farted, a man noticed me and then had his way with me!" The register woman blinked in confusion. "Yes, sir. These are our signs for attracting attention from both a woman and a man," she said, "what's wrong?"

"Lady, I get a boner once every two weeks, and fart eighty times a day!"