The Monk

Hoping to find some meaning in his life, a young man joined a monastery. The monks were required to take a vow of silence; they could only say two words every ten years.

The young man took his vows, and spent his days tilling the garden, baking unleavened bread, and saying silent prayers in the chapel.

When ten years had passed, he was summoned to the office of the abbott, the head of the monastery.

"All right, my son," said the abbott. "You may now speak two words."

"Food's bad," said the monk. The abbott nodded and dismissed him to his chamber.

Ten more long years went by, and once again the monk was brought before the abbott. "What two words do you wish to say, my son?"

"Bed's hard," said the monk. And he was dismissed to his chamber.

Ten more long, long years passed, and the monk, now wrinkled, stooped, and gray-haired, was summoned to the abbott's office. "My son, you may speak your two words."

"I quit," said the monk.

"Well I'm not surprised," snapped the abbott. "Ever since you got here you've done nothing but bitch, bitch, bitch!"