The miracle of alcohol

An Irishman promises his wife that he will quit drinking. All goes well for about three weeks. One night, his friends invite him to join them at the pub.

"Ya don't have to drink at all. Just trade some stories with the boys."

The Irishman agrees to stay for a little while. After an hour, his friends convince him to have a drink.

"One beer won't hurt ya. She'll never even know!"

So he agrees to drink one beer and stay with his friends in the pub. Each time he decides that it is time to leave, his friends again tell him that another drink won't hurt and that he should stay for another round. Sure enough, it is two in the morning and the bartender is telling the boys that they had best go home.

So the Irishman stands up from the bar and falls right on his face. Laying there on the floor he says to himself;

"My tolerance must be a lot lower than I thought!"

So, he lifts himself up from the floor, takes another uneasy step, and falls to the floor again. At this point, the Irishman decides that he needs to get home somehow or his wife will kill him. So he starts dragging himself from the bar to his home. Luckily, he lives only a few blocks from the pub.

AS he finally pulls himself up to his house, the Irishman uses the doorknob to lift himself up and steady himself as he pulls out his key. As the door opens, he falls right on his face again. AS he looks around the house, all of the lights are out and no one is moving around. So he closes the door and pulls himself over to his bedroom. He can see the shadow of his wife, sleeping in their bed.

So he pulls himself over to the bed, hoists himself up and onto the bed. Looks over and he can see that his wife is still fast asleep. AS he closes his eyes to sleep, the last thought that goes through his head is;

"I made it."

The next morning he is woken up by his wife who is screaming at him.

"You were at the pub last night weren't ye!?"

In his haze, the only thing that the Irishman can respond with was;

"Well how the hell do you know? Ya were sleepin' when I got home!"

His wife responds with;

"The pub called this morning. Ya left your wheelchair there again!"